Introducing Eileen Vorbach Collins

Love in the Archives Arrives November 7, 2023

Eileen Vorbach Collins

I’ve never had a prom gown and can count on one hand the times I’ve had a manicure. 

So how is it that I, a child of Baltimore’s inner city, middle school dropout, lifelong feminist, and thrift store shopper, wound up with an invitation to a Debutante Ball?

Let me tell you that story. 

As a debut author with a publication date, as I write this, about 48 hours away, I have a lot to do: Social media posts, newsletter, website, more essays, and Canva tutorials for some shameless self-promotion.  Am I panicking? Nah. I ‘m procrastinating. 

Procrastinating just as I was a few months ago, when scrolling through pretty pictures on Instagram and binge-watching talking Husky videos on TikTok. That’s how I came across a post about female and nonbinary debut authors who’ve been coming together since 2007 for community and support. Apply now, shouted the post. 

While I’m fortunate to already have a support network of writers, I went down that rabbit hole anyway, because what debut author wouldn’t. A few weeks later, I got the email that I’m in. One of four women, the only essayist/memoirist, to be in this year’s “class” of The Debutante Ball. 

Since I’ll be the first of our group to publish, (did I mention that’s in 48 hours?) I have the honor of being the first to write on our Substack about my journey to publication. 

Do I want readers to read my book? Of course, I do. It’s very important to me. However, I know that my book has a niche audience. It’s not for everyone. Love in the Archives is about grief and about my daughter’s death by suicide at age fifteen. 

People tend to be uncomfortable with grief. Talking about it, seeing it manifest, and reading about it.

I’m even uncomfortable promoting my book because publication is a celebration and how can I celebrate having written a book about the worst thing I can imagine, the death of a child by suicide? I wrote about that conundrum last year for The Brevity Blog. 

I’m publishing with a small press, Apprentice House,  wondering what I’m supposed to do next. Ever thankful for the various Binders groups on Facebook where I’ve received lots of good advice along the way. My current critique group, started when none of us had a publishing contract, and consists of four women all now signed with a publisher. We’ve come a long way, baby. 

We've all done the work, publishing essays and articles, doing some of the necessary cringe-worthy self-promotion, crying over cover designs and laughing when my husband, in all innocence and trying to be helpful said, “It’s not like anyone buys a book because of its cover.”

Reviews and Views

After sending PDFs of my manuscript to 25 people, hoping to have reviews submitted to journals or posted to Goodreads and even more hopefully, be copied and pasted after publication to Amazon or Barnes and Noble, I’ve managed to garner some wonderfully kind and generous reviews. Some have even compared my writing to that of Joan Didion and Abigail Thomas. I’ve been afraid to share those reviews because I fear readers will assume they were written in exchange for large sums of cash. 

The act of putting yourself out there, that metaphorical belly exposure, is hard, particularly when you’ve spent the last few months sitting at a desk binging on carbs.  But if you want to reach readers you have to do it. 

So why am I not panicking, now only 46 hours from publication? Partly due to something my Debutante Ball cohort, Sharon Wishnow said this week when I mentioned I don’t have a launch party planned. “Your launch is one day. We’re here for the entire year.” An authentic, vulnerable year in which we don’t know what will happen.

I’ve been advised never to read reviews, but to ask a trusted friend to show me the good ones only. I doubt I’ll be able to do that, but it sounds like sound counsel. When you’ve written with your own heart’s blood you don’t want to read someone’s opinion that your words are not worth the paper they’re printed on. Okay, so maybe I am a little nervous.

If you’re reading this, those 46 hours have passed and my book is available to order from the places you usually get your books: Bookshop.org, Amazon, Barnes and Noble or ask your local independent bookstore or public library to order it.  

Looking at The Debutante Ball archives, the website, and the social media posts from previous Debs, I am excited to be here. I can't wait to see what this year brings for all of us. I hope you’ll join us and share the experience of being a debut author. 

White gloves and jeweled tiara optional.